Posted on by roniscales

Quarantine, Quarantine, Quarantine

I just feel like…2020 got me messed up.

We are currently living in a time of uncertainty for many people. Prior to March of 2020, many probably had an idea of how and what their year would yield, how their season would suit up, how the month would materialize, or hell, at least how the week would work itself out. But needless to say, due to Ms. Corona, plans were changed, and some altogether cancelled.

As this novel virus runs a world tour, I’ve observed and even experienced a widespread array of emotions. I watched people around me and online go through feelings of disbelief, acceptance, humor (my favorite idc sue me), anger, sadness, hopelessness, and everything else in between.

I’ve seen users on Twitter jokingly say that 2020 is a bust and that 2021 will be their year. Although it’s just a joke, me being the person that I am, always believes there’s a little bit of truth in every joke.

My question is: Why write off a whole (fill in the blank) because of a temporary setback?

A negative thought may answer with: BECAUSE IT’S HARD OUT HERE RIGHT NOW, DAMN! Sure enough, just like this virus seemingly came out of nowhere, the end is also nowhere in sight. Let’s be honest.

Unfortunately many companies are experiencing economic hardship and are shutting down completely. This leaves so many individuals without a job, and worse than that, unable to actively seek out new employment. So you mean to tell me you’re gonna fire me and now I can’t even find a replacement job?! BET! It’s easy for a lot of people to just throw their hands up and say fuck forget it.

And don’t even get me started on home life. Households are all out of sync right now. Parents are being forced to be teachers to their bad ass adorable kids while also keeping up with their own professional responsibilities IF they have been blessed enough to retain employment. I’m sure y’all love your kids but be real…you didn’t sign up for that. Couples are arguing about the most silly things because they have cabin fever. They’re tired of looking at each other. Even the pets are getting on your nerves.

After almost 2 straight months of lockdown and social distancing, people are literally saying they are through with this shit. Through with this job, through with these kids, through with this man or woman, through with the neighbor hosting a step show while you’re having a Zoom call, JUST THROUGH OK?

I want to encourage everyone (yes even after I just cussed in this post, I’m a work in progress) not to let destruction and discouragement creep up into your homes, your hearts, or your minds. Situations and environments like these are the devils’ playground. He can’t wait for you to surrender and give up out of frustration. He can’t wait until you display the smallest evidence of doubt so he can piggyback on those negative thoughts and blow it all the way up making you believe a solution is not feasible or out of your reach. He can’t wait until you DM, text, Snapchat, or smoke signal that person “checking on their health and safety because its crazy out here” all while your wife or husband is in the shower….too real? My bad. LOL

The solution…just don’t. Don’t even crack open the door for doubt. Don’t even entertain the idea of failure. Stop toying with the idea of complacency. Don’t even distract yourself with anything that could possibly take you off track.

Do we know when this will all be over? Nope. But just as sudden as it happened, God can turn it around just that quickly. Let God drive da boat and just enjoy the ride. And maybe  he doesn’t want to turn it around, but instead divert it to an entirely new and better outcome than you could have even imagined to begin with. Let Him do his thing!

So often we are our own worst enemy. We get in our head and convince ourselves that we cannot, we are not, and that we will not. all because of what a situation currently LOOKS like. Well, I’m here to tell you (and myself) that we can, we are, and we absolutely will. It’s not what it looks like right now, it’s what you decide it ultimately will be.

 

Posted on by roniscales · 1 Comment

The Price of Peace.

I just feel like…I’m willing to pay the price for peace, no matter the cost.

First off, I haven’t posted in a while, had some major life/career changes, and a death in my immediate family, so I definitely took the time to recalibrate my center. But I’m back because I got some unexpected inspiration. I was casually scrolling Instagram last night and saw a post that literally jumped out at me. The post read as follows:

“Letting someone create a false narrative of you is a small price to pay for having rid yourself of their toxicity. Let them say what they want, if you and the most high know the truth, your life will flourish and their lies will rot theirs.”

I reposted it to my Instagram story because it spoke to me and I figured it could speak to someone else as well. And boy did I underestimate its resonance with my friends. I received quite a few “yesssss girl” and “PREACH GIRL!” messages from my friends and it made me kind of sad. Not because I didn’t want people to relate, but it seemed like damn near everyone had a story to tell about someone who was once close at a point in life attempting to tarnish their name…with lies. I had to add the lie addendum because it’s a key factor.

Let’s be clear. I will never discourage ANYone from speaking truth, no matter how unpleasant it may sound. The truth is the truth, and there’s nothing anyone can do to change it if it has happened. But once that truth becomes infected with lies to embellish the story, or to paint yourself in a better light, the situation has gotten completely out of hand.

Have you ever ended a friendship with someone because you two grew apart, or that person did something to betray your trust? Have you ever ended a relationship with someone due to abuse, lack of trust, or just plain incompatibility? Have you ever cut ties with a company because that entity no longer aligned with you and your goals? Have you ever created distance with a family member because of a blow-up? Chances are you have, because these are things that just happen. Life takes us on certain paths, we experience what we need to experience, and when the lesson is over, we keep it moving. But while keeping it moving, has it ever gotten back to you that the friend, that ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend, that boss, or that family member is bad mouthing you with stories you hadn’t even heard about your own damn self? Unfortunately, chances are also yes, you have experienced this.

When I first hear of lies being spoken about me, it’s easy to sit here and pretend to be Gandhi. I can pretend that I was born the bigger person. I can even say that I immediately pray for any and everyone who bad mouths me. But those would all be lies. I am a recovering petty spaghetti. I’m 5’2, 117 lbs, and I’ve always been the tiniest, but fiercest person in any group. I’m the oldest child, so I’m naturally a protector, not only of others, but also of myself and my feelings. So you can imagine my reaction when I hear negative things regarding myself that just aren’t truthful. My initial reaction is to clap back. Imagine Rihanna on twitter circa 2012 and that will give you an idea of me in my rawest form. LOL. BUT THANK GOD FOR GROWTH!! (insert hallelujah dance right HERE!)

There isn’t enough time in the world (or a blog long enough) to tell my entire testimony. But to say I’ve been through some things, would be an understatement. I’ve had a man I thought I trusted abuse me out of anger, spite, and insecurity. This same individual turned around and painted me out to be crazy, heartless, and rude once I walked away from that relationship.  I’ve had a couple women I’ve known for years, who I’ve helped in any capacity in which they ask, completely betray my trust. And when asked about it by others, they’ve responded that I’m a bitch (because I refuse to accept the betrayal). I’ve had people I’ve worked with straight up lie to others about me to make themselves look better. I’ve even had a family member or two who have turned their backs on me because they don’t agree with choices I make regarding MY life. Any of these situations sound familiar?

No matter the person delivering these messages of lies, I’ve noticed a pattern. These people aren’t lying on you for the sake of lying or even because they have hatred in their hearts for you. These people lie on you to make THEMSELVES feel better. I don’t care who you are, you have a conscience, and most people (unless you’re a psychopath) with a conscience don’t want to be the bad guy. Humans in defense mode, will often times say or do whatever they feel is necessary to survive. And at times unfortunately other people are a casualty in the survival of their reputation.

So NOW, after experiencing a few things in life, when I hear things about myself that I KNOW FOR A FACT aren’t true, I actually DO pray for whoever delivered the message. The 3 most important people in your situation will always know the truth. You, the other person, and God. And in my opinion, if you opt to willingly spread lies about someone else just to make yourself feel better, then you probably NEED the prayers anyway. So don’t worry, and never take it personal. I won’t even respond these days, my peace is far too expensive and worth too much for me to even entertain it.  Let people talk. Besides, most of what others say about you has nothing to do with you, and EVERYTHING to do with them.